White Light
by strangestnightmare
Summary: The war is over. One side won. But at what price?   am not sure about the rating, but just to be safe will use M


**White Light**

**Warning: **Has Slash. Don't like it don't read this.

**Disclaimer: **No I do not own any characters or anything.

* * *

_Their lips touched._

_A soft groan._

_The rustle of clothing._

_Their bodies touched._

_They melted together._

_Becoming one._

Kanda Yuu could remember it all. The feel of those soft pink lips, the pleasant burning when their bodies found each other. But most of all he remembered that face. The smile that would bring light to the darkest of places. The white hair that shone in the sun, making the boy look like an angel.

Kanda Yuu remembered it all, and cursed it all. "If only," he continually thought to himself, "if only it had never happened." He cursed his heart that had allowed him to love, and then had broken when that love had been taken away. He was so cold now, there was no more heat, no more burning desire. Just a cold empty shell, like a doll.

-O-

The memory was vivid in the exorcists minds. The final blow. The surprised look on the Millennium Earls face, as Allen Walkers sword was thrust home through his chest. He had crumbled, turning into dust and was blown away by the wind. The war was over, the exorcists had won. Cheers could be heard from the watching crowd, screams of delight. Men and women crying and holding each other, jumping with joy.

The black haired Kanda was the first to notice that the lone, white haired figure was still standing where he had won. Slowly he fell, his legs bending beneath him, unable to hold him any longer. He hit the ground and lay still.

Kanda screamed his name

"ALLEN."

He ran towards the fallen boy, his heart thudding in his chest. His scream alerted the exorcists around him, that something wasn't right, something was very, very wrong. Their eyes followed the running figure and found where...who he was running to.

Their smiles faltered. Their laughs cessed. Then they too were running, stumbling across the battle torn ground.

Kanda reached him first, falling to his knees beside the bloody boy. Gently gathering his white haired victor into his arms.

The boys eyes flickered open and he smiled as he saw it was the swordsman who was holding him.

"You did it Moyashi, you won, he's gone, it's over," Kandas voice faltered as he saw the trickle of blood coming out of the smaller exorcists mouth.

Three words were all that were spoken. It only took three words to rip the stoic swordsman's heart in two,

"I...Love...You."

The body in his arms went limp. His eyes closed. His head fell back. He was gone.

Their friends reached the two forms as Kanda's screams split the air.

"allen, ALlen, ALLEn, ALLEN!"

He didn't see his friends arrive. Didn't notice when Lenalee collapsed in hysterics, or when Lavi fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face. All he was aware of was the small lifeless body in his arms.

The sudden blinding white light was the only thing that caught his attention, along with everybody else. All faces turned to the sky, eyes widened and mouths opened in shock. The blazing white spread rapidly, until that was all the watchers could see.

They gazed, awe struck, as tendrils glided down from the sky. All but one stopping before they reached the ground. The one lone tendril continued until it engulfed Kanda and his white haired boy.

The lifeless body bathed in the light and slowly, very slowly began to turn to dust and swirl up and up until it all disappeared into the sky.

The watching crowd understood. They had won. The war was over. But at a price.

Allen Walker was dead.

-O-

A week after that day Allen Walker's funeral was held. The Vatican had created a grave for their savior. A simple statue of Allen was what marked it, a smile adorning his face and he was holding a hand of cards. The only words carved into the stone were his name, 'ALLEN WALKER'. No date, no words describing him. This was all that was needed. Simple, like Allen himself.

The funeral, however, was different. Everybody came. The sick, the wounded. Even if they needed help, all survivors attended their heroes funeral.

There was no body, but a casket had been made in the small boys honour. As a symbol of him.

The priest, finishing his sermon, invited all to come and pay their respects to the deceased.

One at a time Allen Walker's friends, family, and people he had never met, walked to his coffin to pay their last respects to the boy who had given his life so they could all be saved.

As the mourners passed his coffin some stopped, some didn't. The ones that stopped being the ones that were considered his family. Each had a memory of the angelic boy.

General Cross was the first. Nobody knew that he had cared so much for the boy, nobody could have guessed. But none of the grievers could deny the tears that trickled down the man's face, as he remembered. He replayed those nights that the boy had a nightmare, just after Manas death. The usually un-loving general would pull the sobbing boy into his arms and gently stroke his hair whilst crooning soft loving things until the boy calmed and settled into a peaceful sleep.

As Cross moved on, Komui and Lenalee moved to take his place. Brother holding sister close as her tears flowed. Komui could remember Allen's smile, the way he always seemed to bring light to the order.

Lenalee saw the heroic Allen she had known. The countless times he had saved her. The way that he would always console her, lift her spirits. The way he felt like home.

Lavi moved in next. The red head could not help the tears from sliding down his face. He knew he wasn't supposed to feel these emotions, wasn't supposed to have gotten attached. But, as his picture perfect memory was showing him, there was no way that this attachment could have been stopped. Lavi remembered the first time they had met, all those years ago, and then when they had fought together at Krory's mansion and he had come to realize the boy's burden. No, Lavi could not help the attachment he felt towards the boy, and he knew, he just knew, that the world would never be the same without him.

Others came and went. Reever and the rest of the science department. The Finders whom Allen had always treated better than most exorcists did. All the other exorcists.

All had passed by the boy's coffin, all but his black haired lover. Kanda had sat through the whole service looking hollow. He could not make his legs move, could not get his body to carry him to the coffin so he could pay his respects. Only when Lavi found that his best friend had not moved did he know something was wrong.

The red head practically ran to the swordsman. Gently resting a hand on his shoulder. The man looked up into his friends eyes.

"I...can't...legs...move...won't."

From the fragmented words Kanda had managed to struggle out, Lavi understood that without help he would not make it to the coffin.

Lavi gently pulled Kanda up and over to the coffin. They were the last to arrive.

All eyes were on the two figures.

Kandas mind overflowed with images of his lost love, and the tears returned. He saw the boy's smile, the way his eyes lit up when he was happy. How he turned evil when faced with debts. The feeling of having the smaller boy in his arms, that body writhing beneath him in pleasure. The whispered words in the dead of night. Sweet nothings that were breathed into each other's ears. Limbs entangled as they drifted off to sleep. His white hair flying around his head as he fought off Akuma. The way that he loved everything.

Kanda remembered everything and his heart shattered.

-O-

It had been months since Allen's death. The Order was still around, the remaining exorcists opting to finish finding the Innocence. But nothing was back to what it could have been. Everything had changed.

The war had taken its toll on all of them. But most of all they missed Allen. That was the most drastic change, the most horrible.

Everybody changed after that day, but none so much as Kanda Yuu. He became like a doll. Obeying orders, sleeping, eating and breathing but nothing more. No matter what Lavi or Lenalee tried they could not break him out of his shell. The death of his lover had just been too much.

Until one day Lavi walked into Kandas room just in time to see the swordsman attempting to stab Mugen through his heart. Lavi raced to the man and yanked the sword away, successfully stopping him from ending his life. From then on Kanda was never left alone. Lavi, Lenalee or one of the other exorcists was always with him.

-O-

And so the months went by, the pain never dwindling. The loneliness never diminishing.

Days blurred, and Kanda took to staring out of the nearest window, as if searching for that one person to come home, to come back to him.

It was on one of these days that everything changed.

As usual Kanda was staring out of the library window as Lavi and Bookman kept an eye on him.

Blinding white light filled every windowed room. People all over the order froze, no matter what they were doing.

And a certain long haired swordsman leaped from his seat by the window and careened out the library's doors, leaving a stunned and half blind Lavi to begin stumbling after him.

Kanda flew through the order's corridors and practically kicked open the doors that led to outside. He didn't stop until he came to where the ray of light shone. There he stood staring up, and up into the sky, waiting and hoping that miracles could happen.

Lavi had blindly stumbled after the fleeing Kanda, regaining full use of his sight half way to the doors. He ran the rest of the way. Finally making it to the doors at the same time as Lenalee. Without a second's hesitation they flung them open and raced outside.

They froze, unbelieving of what was happening.

Their eyes widened as they realized this wasn't some sort of hallucination, or a sick joke... this was very real.

Standing there, bathed in that ridiculously bright light, stood Kanda, his arms raised waiting to accept something...no...someone. His face turned up to the heavens, and gracing his features was a wide, breathtaking smile. That, in itself, was astonishing enough (Kanda had not smiled since that day). Only one thing could make him smile now, and as the spectators' eyes travelled up they saw it.

The miracle.

A small body floating down towards Kanda's outstretched arms. That unmistakable white hair. The deformed arm. Nobody could believe their eyes. Allen Walker's body was drifting down in a pillar of white light, towards his love. The Allen Walker who had died, who everybody had seen die.

The boy floated ever closer to Kanda and was gently eased into his waiting arms. At first, feather light, his weight regained only when Kanda had full hold of him.

It's burden now passed on, the light began to recede.

All eyes turned to the two figures. Kanda kneeling on the ground, cradling an unconscious Allen to his chest. The most loving look on his face.

His happiness was contagious, everybody's face cracked into a huge breath-taking smile. Laughing and cheering rang through the entire order. Lenalee and Lavi ran up to the figures, Lavi pulling Kanda to his feet. The two exorcists practically dragged the two lovers to the infirmary.

-O-

"Yuu-chan, Yuu-chan, what are you gonna do when Al-chan wakes up? Give him a BIIIIIIIIIIIG kiss? or or or a BIIIIIIIIIIIG hug?" Lavis voice was the first thing Allen heard.

"Shut it, Baka Usagi. And don't call me that." Kanda's voice rang through the ward, followed by a ring of metal being drawn.

"Gahhhhhhhhhh!" Lavi's screams resonated through the order, and laughing could be heard from the people passing by the ward.

"Stop it you two, you'll wake Allen up." Lenalee's voice reminded Allen that his friends didn't know he was already awake.

"Yeah Yuu-chan! No killing, today's supposed to be a happy day and if I died then it wouldn't, cos everybo... GAHHHHHHH" Lavis words were cut off with a swish of metal.

"Die Usagi. That would make today just perfect" Kandas growl was followed by an over-dramatic whimper from Lavi.

A small chuckle alerted the three friends to the boy lying on the hospital bed. Kanda was instantly at Allen's side, one hand resting on the boys cheek as his eyes stared into the now open silver depths of his once lost lover.

Allen couldn't look away from those eyes.

Those eyes he never thought he would see again. That face, those lips, everything that he never thought would be with him again. He raised a shaking hand and place it over the bigger one on his cheek. The man above him smiled slowly. He bent down until their lips just touched.

"Welcome back"

Their lips touched in a loving drawn out kiss. The two lovers not wanting it to stop, both forgetting the audience they had. Focused on the each other, thinking how close they had come to losing each other forever.

Unfortunately they had to breathe sometime, and as they came up for air, their audience broke into claps, wolf whistles, cheers and shouts of "Do it again!"

Kanda turned to glare at the watching crowd, and was shoved out of the way by an almost hysterical Lenalee who proceeded to grab a very startled Allen into a bear hug, crying and practically yelling,

"Don't you ever do that again! EVER!"

She was hauled off the small boy by a furious Kanda and dumped behind him. However, as he turned back to Allen, he was once again shoved aside (landing on his ass) by a grinning Lavi. Who practically ripped Allen from the bed, wrapping his arms around him in a rib crushing bear hug and swung him round and round chanting,

"Allen's back, Allen's back, Allen's back."

Unfortunately for him (and fortunately for Allen) the tip of Mugen was almost instantly place against his throat.

"Put him back on the bed." Lavi immediately followed the furious Kanda's demand and backed away slowly. However Mugen was not taken from its spot on his neck.

"Now leave, all of you, and do not come back until I say you can." When nobody moved to obey Kanda finished off with a growled

"NOW!"

Suffice to say, the room was emptied within seconds.

Kanda huffed, sheathing Mugen, and turned back towards the bed. Allen was sitting up leaning against the head board, an ear splitting smile covering his face.

The two boys stared at each other.

"Kanda," the small boy's voice sounded slightly hesitant, but Kanda waited.

Then there they were again, those three words,

"I love you."

Kanda crossed the room slowly, never taking his eyes off of Allen's. He stood beside the boy's bed and stared down at him, marveling in the fact that his love was back. That they could be together again.

As he took the small boy into his arms he vowed that he would never let them part again.

Outside their two friends smiled and quietly pulled the door shut.

It took a miracle to bring the light back into their lives. They knew he was here to stay.

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This is my first fan fic, so please please review.

And do please be nice.

Thank you for reading.

Strangestnightmare.


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